Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) raised eyebrows in Iowa today when she refused to respond to a supermarket cashier's question about her preference for paper or plastic bags, calling the inquiry 'totally hypothetical.'

One day after endorsing former Mayor Rudolph Giuliani for president, televangelist Pat Robertson explained his decision, saying that a Giuliani presidency features prominently in the Book of Revelation ... The televangelist made it clear that 'in order for the Second Coming to occur, the world needs to end, and Rudy Giuliani is just the man for that job.'

Excerpts from The Borowitz Report by Andy Borowitz

On Saturday afternoon last weekend, I was in the right place at the right time. That is, I was home. A few blocks from my front door, the St. Petersburg Times was hosting the 17th Annual Festival of Reading at the University of South Florida's St. Petersburg campus. So, I strolled over and what a treat it was.

To get a sense for the Festival of Reading, here is a description from the Times a few days before the event: Novelists and journalists, celebrities and historians, a former senator, a poet laureate, four Pulitzer Prize winners and the Times' own Pulitizer-winning PolitiFact team. More than 50 writers will appear at the 17th annual Times Festival of Reading. (St. Petersburg Times, October 22, 2009, Guide to the Festival of Reading, p. 1.)

The format was for the celebrated writers to lecture for 20 minutes, then spend another 15 minutes responding to audience questions.

So many choices. I elected four. Arriving early for each, I had a front row seat. I anticipated an exciting afternoon. I was not to be disappointed.

The first speaker was one of my two favorite comedians, Andy Borowitz, producer of the Borowitz Report and author of the two quotes at the head of this article. (My other favorite, George Carlin, is dead but my loyalty lives on.) I had the pleasure of watching Borowitz perform a few years ago (with John Oliver) at a nightclub in New York and I look forward to his daily Borowitz Reports. Borowitz was hilarious then as he was on this occasion. His fare or genre is political and social commentary. He also told many very funny personal stories. This presentation alone would have made my day and the Festival of Reading a hit, but my wife and I encountered him later in the afternoon and had a substantial private chat. I showed my appreciation for his work by gifting him with the 74th edition of the AWR, for which he was clearly eternally grateful and overwhelmed. His new book is said to be loaded with schadenfreude-the title is: Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison: The Bernie Madoff Edition, Updated in 2009. Borowitz assumes the identify of a fictitious CEO whose company cooked the books while holding lavish parties-until he got caught. The fallen leader's advice (no harm done if confused with Madoff) for other CEOs headed to prison include these gems:

*  Don't blame the jurors, who don't understand that lavish lifestyles are a must if you want to succeed in the high-stakes world of big business.

*  Don't bother smuggling in weapons, since you can get them easily once you are inside the prison walls.

*  The meals aren't five star, but they are free-just like they were when you were CEO.

*  Never trust your partner in crime behind bars; prisoners are always searching for the dish to get a reduced sentence.

Historian Taylor Branch was the second speaker. He was fascinating. Mr. Branch won a Pulitzer for a trilogy on the civil rights movement entitled, America in the King Years. He began by noting that Civil Rights legislation advanced by Lyndon Johnson benefited the nation in many ways little recognized today. The southern part of the country came into the mainstream economically, and women and immigrants benefited as well from Great Society legislation.

Branch focused, of course, on his new work, The Clinton Tapes: Wrestling History With the President. He described his relationship with President Clinton, beginning when they were roommates working the McGovern campaign in 1972. The new book is based on 150 hours of interviews, most occurring after midnight at the White House. At his website, the book blurb reads: The Clinton Tapes invite readers into private dialogue with a gifted, tormented, resilient President of the United States. Branch said that he struggled to balance his roles as friend, counselor, and objective interviewer with those of an objective chronicler of history. It was fascinating to listen to him speak about Clinton's moods, manner and interactions with Hillary and Chelsea. The book is a blend of history, journalism and politics. That these talks (recorded during 79 separate visits to the White House) were kept secret for over eight years is remarkable, as are many of the revelations about the president's thinking at varied times during his two terms.

I did not have a chance to ask a question of Mr. Branch, but I did approach the stage and assist him by opening a water bottle after watching him struggle for an uncomfortable period of time with the cap. He is younger than I am, but all those late nights at the White House made him appear rather exhausted. He was appreciative of my gesture, and so taken with my feat of power that he remarked, Ah, the strength of youth.

Could this afternoon get any better? I had just enjoyed two diverse, superb presentations.  More treats were to come.

Next up was former U.S. Sen. Bob Graham. What a guy - and to think that Gore passed him over in 2000 for whacko Leiberman - and lost Florida and the presidency, giving us the Bush era.  Graham talked about some of his favorite jobs, an idea he pioneered of doing regular jobs - for a day.  Later this concept would be emulated in the show World's Dirtiest Jobs. But much of the telling about his working job experiences was to show the need for and reasons why he wrote his new guidebook to grass roots activism, America, the Owner's Manual: Making Government Work for You. Graham described the importance of knowing how to interact with government. He said many citizens think you can't fight city hall so don't bother to try to make changes, but this is a big mistake. He asked the packed audience for a show of hands of those who know the name Candace Lightner. Not many recognized the name. Candice founded Mothers Against Drunk Driving. He explained how she went about gaining support for a crackdown on drunk driving. He said, Her impact has became ingrained in the values and institutions of America and we are all the beneficiaries of that. Lightner and others who have changed governments are the focus of America, the Owner's Manual.

Being in the front row, I got to ask a question. I thanked the senator for his service to Florida and America, and cited a key idea described in the Pulitizer prize-winning book Wonderful Life by Stephen J. Gould. The idea is that of contingencies, watershed events that, if they had not occurred, would have meant a different history unfolds. Our nation's history or, using examples developed in Gould's book, the history of life itself, would have been dramatically different. Then I asked my question: If the senator ever pondered Democratic candidate Gore's fateful choice of a running mate in 2000.  Would he (Graham) have taken the role of VP if asked? And did he ever wonder how different America would be now if he had done so and the Democratic ticket had prevailed? (Graham was very popular in Florida at the time and nobody doubts that Gore would have carried Florida with Graham on the ballot.) I suggested that if he had been the VP candidate, we would have avoided the election of the Republican and the attendant horrors of the Bush era?

This got a big audience reaction. Graham was gracious but gave the impression that he did not have time to address such a topic. In short, he did not take hold of my lighted dynamite stick, but instead blew it out for the time being while possibly putting it carefully aside for future use. He said, This is a great topic for a long discussion. Maybe it will be the subject of my next book.

At this point in the day, as the Festival was winding down, I went to hear Olivia Gentile, the wife of Andy Borowitz. Ms. Gentile has written Life List: A Woman's Quest for the World's Most Amazing Birds. It's a biography of legendary birder Phoebe Snetsinger. Ms. Gentile illustrated her talk wtih photos of Phoebe and 16 stunning watercolor bird drawings by Rebecca Layton.
(The illustration, right, is used with express permission of Ms. Layton.)

What a remarkable tale this is.  Phoebe Snetsinger wished to become a scientist but, like most women in the 50's, settled (for a while) into the role as housewife and mother. However, by her mid-30's, after having four children, she took up bird-watching.  At forty-nine, she was diagnosed with cancer and given a year to live. That's when her birding career took off.  Determined to live as fully as possible for as long as possible, she became a globetrotting observer of birds, aided in doing so by a family fortune.  In time, she visited 100 countries, had exciting but also dangerous encounters and became a hero in the birding world. Phoebe set the record for most species seen. Ms. Gentile's Life List is a biography of a woman who found herself after it seemed time had run out. The book should be inspirational for some readers and all can learn a great deal about birds.

I also caught part of a presentation by Jane Velez-Mitchell, the host of HLN's Issues and a TV journalist. Her book is entitled, iWant: My Journey from Addiction and Over Consumption to a Simpler, Honest Life. This topic is my next-to-last least favorite (behind testimonials about how I found Jesus and was born again). This book chronicles her struggles with alcoholism, weight, relationships and more. Things took a turn for the better when Velez-Mitchell discovered her true sexuality, which in turn is credited for her life-enhancing embrace of a healthy lifestyle, a concern for the environmental and a passion for promoting animal rights. Unfortunately, she credits much, if not all, of her successes in overcoming drinking and other problems to 12 step programs. The talk contained a bizarre plea, namely, NOT to accept personal responsibility!  Amazing but true.   She repeatedly urged listeners to instead get a higher power and ask that higher power for help. The higher power, she explained, could be anything, not just a god. Velez-Mitchell gave higher power examples that included your cat, dog or any animal or even inanimate objects.  Sounds to me like an imaginary friend, so in that respect she is relying on the same source as most Americans.

As you might guess, this was not my favorite session but it was interesting and entertaining.

The afternoon at the Faire was one of serious exuberance, and lots of insights on reason and liberty, as well. The time spent was definitely REAL.